“Today’s feminism it isn’t about women doing it all. It’s about women NOT having to do it all.” —Gloria Steinem (2008)

I began buying into the myth of “doing it all” at an early age. In my 20s, I had my checklist life in mind: start a lucrative career right after college, meet someone and fall in love, get married in my late 20s, get my career to a successful enough point that I can take some time off without losing footing, and then, of course, get pregnant and have my first child before the age of 32. It seemed like a realistic timeline of expectations and, according to the tenants of feminism, not only could I do it all—it was my right and even my duty as a woman to do it all.

With age, wisdom, and each successive child (I now have 4), I learned that by trying to do it all, especially at the same time, I was not doing anything at a level of 100 percent effort or enjoyment. There was simply too much to accomplish to feel 100 percent about anything other than my stress level.